Before I took the plunge and decided to officially start blogging, I had started to journal a bit about my role as a mother. I think I will discontinue that portion of the website and use this blog instead. So, I'm copying those previous posts so as not to lose any of my dear thoughts and memories!
Such a sweet homecoming
February 09, 2009
I went to Dallas over the weekend for a SLAH meeting. When the kids saw me for on Sunday morning, they were so happy and excited to see me. Little Emily came crawling as fast as she could to my bed saying "Ma-Ma Ma-Ma Ma-Ma"! What a sweet sound! Both kids blanketed me with hugs and kisses! I truly believe this is one of the best parts of being a parent... the excitement your kids have when you come home! It makes you feel like the most special person in the world!
I have it!
January 29, 2009
Yes, I do... I have the baby bug! I've been feeling it come on slightly, but as I shopped the aisles of Babies R Us today, it really hit me! I really want another baby... actually 2 of them :) Seeing all of the little things that are only for the little babies (swaddle blankets, boppy pillows, special bathtubs, cradles, etc.) made me really long for a tiny baby again! I know I will be a crazy person with another baby, but I also know that the craziness only lasts for a short period.
Being pregnant scares me... I'm always such a nervous wreck when I'm pregnant (actually I'm a nervous wreck all the time!)... I don't look forward to the anxieties that come along with being pregnant... and having a new baby! BUT... I do want them, because with them, comes another little miracle! We'll have to see what God has in store for our family, but it is clear to me that I am ready to be blessed with another set of tiny fingers and tiny toes.
Learning to Let Go
January 27, 2009
I've always prided myself on being a good organizer and a good housekeeper. In fact, housework is something that I have always enjoyed! I can remember, even in college, that I would clean my house prior to studying so that I could study in a fresh, clean place. Having a clean and orderly house has always provided me with a sense of peace and wellbeing. I just love a picked up, clean house!
Given this unique characteristic, it was especially difficult for me to understand comments that were made to be as a new mom... comments such as "you just have to let your house go" and "your housecleaning can wait, but your children will grow up fast", etc. I remember thinking... "you don't understand! If my house is chaotic, I will be chaotic!" I simply couldn't understand the concept of just "letting things go" that in my opinion, just needed to be done!
How children change us... in so many ways! Miss Emily Kate is a handful and a half! She makes messes faster than I can clean them up! Her mobility has provided her with even more opportunities to make messes too. Recently, I found myself thinking... "all I ever do is stand in this kitchen and make meals (that my kids won't eat), clean up the mess (which is all over the walls, chairs, floor and countertops), vacuum, and then it's only about an hour before the whole episode starts over again!" In fact, last week, I had my house cleaned and I told Vance that we simply could not eat dinner at home that evening... I just needed to enjoy that clean kitchen for an entire 1/2 day!
At some point in the last week, I've started to realilze that I need to "let go" of so many of the chores that I have always wanted to do. It is making me a bit crazy, but cleaning the floor 3 times a day makes me crazy too! Emily's messes are not the end of the world and I'm learning to just let her make them (instead of constantly telling her no). Maybe I need to be changed. When I let go of these little things, it allows me more time to focus on the big things... like watching Emily and Noah be sweet to eachother for the first time in a long time, or help Emily learn to stand up by herself, or color with Noah.... So I'm challenging myself to continue to learn to let go of the things that don't matter! It is a challenge, but a good one!
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