Uncle Brycie - A Great Catch!

So let me start off this post by saying...


My brother will likely kill me for doing this!  


Further...


He has absolutely no idea I'm doing this!


Now that I have that out of the way, let me begin.


My kids have a great uncle.  They call him Uncle Brycie, or Uncle Bicey, depending on who is saying it.  Regardless of the pronunciation or rather, mispronunciation, they are referring to their very much loved Uncle Bryce.  My brother.  My little brother.  My single, little brother.  My single, little brother who is, in short...


A great catch!


One of my greatest prayers has always been that I would inherit a sister... through my brother!  But as much as I would love and desire a sister-in-law that would be "the sister I never had", my bigger desire is for my little brother to find the love of his life... someone to begin a family with and grow old with.  


That is his greatest desire too!


And so here I am, joining Kelly's Korner in a "Singles Blog Party" to introduce my brother to whomever might happen to stumble upon this blog!  While he might kill me for doing it, it is within the realm of possibility that he might end up thanking me one day.  So, here goes!


Meet my little brother, my kids' "Uncle Brycie"...

Bryce is 33 years old and is one of the most loyal people I know.  He is a hopeless romantic and a gentlemen among men.  I can remember telling him in high school that he simply could not give a girl flowers every day!  He didn't listen.


Other than his penchant for overly spoiling his girlfriends, here are a few more things about him:


He is generous.  Really generous.  He is the kind of person who hears about someone in financial distress and offers them the money off of his back; never expecting to have it returned.  He got me an 85 minute massage at the best Spa in town for Christmas and a gift certificate to my favorite clothing boutique.  Trust me.  He's very generous.  He loves to give gifts.  He is a pretty good gift wrapper too and takes pride in making sure that every gift he gives is packaged very well (my mother taught him well!).


He loves kids.  Of course, mine are his favorite!  But he loves all kids.  And he has a special place in his heart for children that are disadvantaged.  He often uses his day off from work to volunteer in a school for disadvantaged children.  And the kids in that school... well they simply adore him!  But that's not really a big surprise... my kids adore him too!  


He is a Christian. He is the Godfather to my Noah and my Molly.   

He loves sports.  He is a University of Kansas alum and therefore bleeds crimson and blue.  He attends as many KU games as his work schedule allows and makes a mean tailgating hamburger!  Second to the Jayhawks, his favorite sporting event would be any that his nephew, Noah, is playing!  He has helped to coach Noah's soccer and TBall teams and cheers from the sidelines as often as he can.  

He is a history buff and a wealth of useless information.  You don't want to go up against him in Trivial Pursuit.  Just trust me on that!  And if he says something that sounds completely random, it's probably true!


He is a dog person.  Even though he doesn't own one of his own at the moment.  He is always "dog sitting" and even took care of one of his employee's dogs for a looong time!  He is my dog's personal favorite visitor too, she wags her tail a bit harder than normal when she hears his voice!


He loves to cook.  And is good at it.  Actually, he's a great cook!  And he loves to cook for other people.  His most requested dish is grilled salmon followed closely by his "special macaroni and cheese".  Yes, he makes my kids special kid food that they love!  And when I was on the very restrictive "Molly tummy diet" while nursing the baby, he jumped in while we were at brunch one time and told the cook exactly how to make me an egg that didn't have any of my food restrictions in it.  And when my mom ruined the icing for the Christmas cake, he whipped up a new batch from scratch!  He takes care of food like that.  And people! 


He is a foodie.  He has been in the restaurant industry for the majority of his professional career.  He has been in management for the Houston's Restaurant corporation, The Bonefish Grill, and has recently joined Wichita's newest upscale restaurant, The Newport Grill, as the General Manager.  His restaurant career has landed him in Kansas City, MO, Denver, CO, Los Angeles, CA, Tampa, FL, and eventually brought him back to his hometown of Wichita, KS.  He is great at what he does. He is a natural in a restaurant.  A great manager.  Guests love him.  Employees respect him.  And he has aspirations to open his own restaurant one day.  He even has his menu written and glassware designed for when that dream becomes a reality.

He has a dry sense of humor.  And appreciates that quality in others as well.  He is laid back.  Easy going.  In many ways, the opposite of my OCD, Type A, not-funny-at-all personality!


He is the best laundry folder I know.  Seriously.  He can fold laundry perfectly.  His undershirts are all the exact.same.size when folded.  He beats me, hands down, in the laundry folding department!


He likes to go out and likes to stay in.  Equally well.  He enjoys concerts, sporting events, and any other type of social celebration.  But he also enjoys staying in.  Cooking.  Watching a good movie.  


He is a family guy.  At his core, his family is of extreme importance to him.  He does things like take a day off from work on Emily's birthday so he can come to her birthday party.  He loves family reunions and is the first to volunteer to drive with my dad to western Kansas to visit our grandfather.  He loves my mom.  One of the qualities I always looked for when dating was someone who had an obvious respect and love for his mother.  That is one of the first things I noticed about Vance.  And Bryce has that quality too.  Even if poking fun of her is something he gets a kick out of, she is the first one he calls when he has something exciting, sad, encouraging or scary to share.  And he respects my dad more than anyone.  

He is a great catch!  There are really so many other things I could say about my little brother, but they can all be summed up by simply saying that he a really, really good catch!  He has had several serious relationships that have not worked out.  He has had his heart broken.  Twice.  And that broken heart has made him a bit guarded in the dating department.  But he wants nothing more than to find the "right one".  


I have prayed many times over that God would reveal that special someone to him.  And I know that He will, in His time.


And when He does, as much as I love the cute way my kids call him "Uncle Brycie", I will love it even more when I get to hear someone call my little brother "Daddy"!

He's a great catch!  And he deserves a great catch of his own!


So I don't really even know how this Singles Party thing works... I guess if you or someone you know might be interested in knowing more about "Uncle Brycie", leave a comment :)

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

snowboy

snowgirl

snowbaby (??)
emily made it !

snowbunny!

Written Just for Me

After writing the posts "Time, Please Stand Still" and then "Filling the Glass", I think Elizabeth's post from today was written just for me!  It's a good one... hopefully you will be encouraged by it too!

Anatomy of a Snow Day

{8:00 am}
snow on ground = happy children & fire in fireplace

{8:20ish am}
children head to the deck to play in the white wonder

{8:30 am}
mom insists that children come inside
breakfast:  peanut butter toast

{10:00ish am}
nonny comes to save the day
mommy naps

{noon}
lunch: "scratch" macaroni "made with love" & orange slices

{1:00ish}
back outside for more snow angels...

and snow basketball...

and falling down...

and throwing icy tennis balls to lucy...

and burying "blueberry muffin" in the snow...

and making snow trails...

and running in snow boots...

and making snow love...

{2:00ish pm}
remove snow covered clothing

{2:15 pm}
take warm bath in mommy's tub to dethaw

{3:00 pm}
drink hot chocolate

{3:30 pm}
turn on fire...

snuggle up with blankets...

and watch beauty & the beast for the first time!
emily's reaction: "i not like the beast"
noah's reaction: "yes, i liked it, but i think it might be for girls"

{5:00 pm}
look at kitchen disaster from the day

{5:30 pm}
clean up said disaster

{6:00 pm}
dinner:  more macaroni, peanut butter sandwiches, applesauce & spaghetti

{7:00 pm}
move emily's bed into noah's room for "operation: molly needs to sleep!"

{9:00 pm}
kids in bed

{9:05}
kids out of bed

{9:10 pm}
kids having "dance party" in their beds

{9:12 pm}
lots of threats made by mom & dad

{9:17 pm}
kids out of bed again

and again...

and again...

and again...

{9:35 pm}
emily asleep!

{9:40ish pm}
noah asleep!

{9:40 pm...}
molly not asleep
stressed out mommy digs out sleep books

{11:00 pm}
mommy takes bath to relax using kids' orange flavored bubble bath
molly still not asleep

{11:50 pm}
mommy gives in and nurse molly to sleep

{12:15 am}
mommy eats 5 oreos and goes.to.bed!


Does anyone else find "Snow Days" to be exhausting?!

Filling the Glass

I guess it would be fair to say that I haven't exactly jumped in to 2011 yet...


Just like I still had a pumpkin on my porch while everyone else was singing Christmas carols and gazing at their decorated homes and trees, I am still posting about Christmas when everyone else is posting about New Year's resolutions!  Noah is still listening to Christmas music and there are still remnants of Christmas decorations lingering around my house!


Nevertheless...


It is officially 2011... a brand new year.  And like most everyone, I've been giving a lot of thought to what 2010 was and what I hope 2011 will be.


By all accounts, my 2010 was beyond good.  We were blessed with a third healthy child.  Vance's job was secure in a year when many, many people experienced lay offs and pay cuts.  My family, including my extended family, is healthy.  We have a lovely home that is close to family members who help us immensely.  My efforts to supplement our income, while working from home, have been very successful.  We have a wonderful church community.  


All in all, we have absolutely nothing to complain about and everything to be happy about!


In spite of all of those blessings, as I reflect on 2010, I feel as if I have been more stressed, less patient, more grouchy, less positive, and more worried than ever before!


I'm more than a little embarrassed to write that, but it is the truth.  A truth I don't like very much.  There are, of course, reasons for it (mainly extreme, extreme sleep deprivation), but those reasons really don't matter.  As my mom tells me, God cares much more about how we respond to our circumstances than He does about the circumstances themselves.  And suffice it to say, I haven't been a very good responder as of late.


A few weeks before Christmas, we attended Vance's work Christmas party where I interacted with a young man who Vance hired several months ago.  He is one of those "positive people"... you know, the kind who always see the glass as half full, not half empty.  He exudes positivity, always has a smile on his face, and is one of those people who really grabs life by the horns and sucks every ounce out of it. 


I want to be one of those people.  I really do.  I want to live in the moment, celebrate the little things in life, live out loud... it's why I started this blog in the first place!  


And I try to live that way.  But by nature, I have to admit that I am a "glass half empty" girl.  I see negative in a situation more easily than I see positive.  I am quick to react to the negative.  And I am a worrier.  A BIG worrier.  An eternal optimist, I am not.


I took a parenting class before Molly was born and one of the lessons that I really clung to is that children emulate what they see being demonstrated in the home.  In other words, if they hear yelling and screaming, they are very likely to yell and scream too.  Instinctively, I probably knew this, but seeing the black and white research that supported it was something that has really stuck with me.  So I try (big emphasis on the word try) not to demonstrate behaviors that I would not want my children to use and I try to practice the positive behaviors I want to instill in them.  For example, if I expect them to say please and thank you, then I must say please and thank you to them too.  This all makes perfect sense to me.


Having said all that, I'm not sure why it didn't dawn on me earlier that this same concept applies to my overall attitude too.  We've been having too many discussions with Noah recently about his "negative attitude".  But it wasn't until the night of that Christmas party and my observance of Wes' positivity that it struck me...  perhaps I have been contributing to Noah's negativity by my example.  If I complain, he will too.  If I worry all the time, he will too.  If I see the glass half empty, he will too.  It was a reality that hit me square in the face that evening as we drove home from the Christmas party.


And then, as if God knew that I needed to hear it again, Father Dan gave a Christmas homily that spoke directly to me.  He described the scene from Christmas 2009.  It was, quite literally, a blizzard outside.  Freezing cold.  Snow and ice everywhere.  As he waited in the gathering space on Christmas Eve 2009, he saw a very elderly couple trying to make it in the door for Mass.  They were struggling to walk against the wind and snow that was beating against their faces.  As he went outside to help them in, he hoped they wouldn't be mad.  After all, there were many reasons they could have been mad.  He thought they might be mad because they were wet and cold.  Or they might be mad because even though all of the other churches had cancelled their services, the Catholic church was still having Mass!  The extreme weather conditions were, at a minimum, very challenging for such an elderly couple.  So as he extended his arm to help this very elderly lady, hoping she wouldn't be too mad, she enthusiastically said to him... 


"Wow!  The children sure are going to love this snow for Christmas."


She was a "Wes"... one of those people who finds the positive in every situation.  And Father Dan challenged us to live like that too.  As I reflected on all he had to say that night, I had to admit to myself that my reaction would not have been the same positive reaction that elderly lady had.  But I want it to be.


So while there are lots of positive changes I'd like to work on in 2011...


- lose weight
- cook more
- play with the kids more
- pray more
- spend less money
- do more for others
- spend less time on the computer
- read more 
- sleep more... a lot more!
- attend daily Mass (at least once a week)
- exercise
- see opportunities for random acts of kindness
- spend more time with friends
- have date nights with my husband
- reconnect with old friends
- catch up make progress on baby books and photo books

the thing I really want to change is my attitude!   


I want to raise positive children.  Children who don't worry, who grab life by the horns and suck every ounce out of it.   I want to raise children who will have the kind of reaction that elderly lady had.  I want my children to be "glass half full" people.  


And so my 2011 resolution is to start filling my own glass.  


I want to be a positive example to the little people in my house whose very character and attitudes are, in large part, formed by me.  A friend wrote on her blog today that the mother sets the tone for the household, and so my resolution for 2011 is to set a tone that is more optimistic and less stressful than the one that lingered for too long in 2010.


Happy New Year and here's to filling the glass!

One Last Time

I am here, in this blogosphere, to ask for your prayers for Matt, Molly & Wavy.


One Last Time.


Tomorrow, they will go to a different court.  With a different judge.  In a different seat. With hearts praying for a different outcome.


One Last Time...


They will place their daughter's future in the hands of a legal system that has previously failed them.


And they hope against all hope that this time, the result will be different.


But their hope is not that they will be able to remain parenting their daughter...


Molly has the heart of a mother.  Despite her deepest desire to parent the baby she has raised for over 2 1/2 years, she now prays that another mother, Wavy's birth mother, will be able to do what she is not legally able to do.  I can't imagine having to do that.  Her heart beats for her daughter and she wants only what is best for her... even though the prayers she is asking us to pray must be some of the hardest prayers a mother must ever pray.  She prays them anyway, because it is what she feels is best for her daughter.


And so I will pray them too.


One Last Time.


I ask you to join me in praying for a new outcome in this heartbreaking story.


One Last Time.


Click here for specific prayer requests for tomorrow.

Time, Please Stand Still; Revisited

Over 8 months ago, I wrote this post lamenting the time that was passing much too quickly.  I remember, so vividly, wanting to hold on to those moments of Molly's infancy; knowing that in a quick blink of an eye, that special stage of life would be forever a memory.


Today, I have similar feelings that can only be explained in the same exact same words...


Time, please stand still.


I did, in fact, blink my eye and my tiny baby girl turned 9 months old on Christmas Day.  That milestone makes her closer to toddlerhood than infancy.  Toddlerhood.  I don't really even like typing the word.  As much as I love a wobbly, bobbly toddler and all the wonderfulness that stage of life brings, thinking about that stage of childhood means just that... my baby is becoming something other than a baby.


Time, please stand still.


In a quick matter of months, Molly has transformed into a bundle of energy, mobility, and opinions!  She crawls, dances, pulls up to a standing position, talks, claps, and does her best to keep up with her older siblings.  She has had 2 haircuts (and no longer allows me to keep headbands or bows in her hair!), has 5 teeth (with 3 more in the works), weighs about 17 pounds, and is ready to begin wearing 12 month clothing.  Her fingers are her favorite "toy", but she is quite fond of baby dolls too.. particularly those that belong to her older sister!  She wants to walk, feed herself, and be more independent... I can see it and feel it.


Time, please stand still.


As much as I will it not to be, life is still life.  Busy, chaotic, often stressful.  And so the struggle continues.  To live in the moment, soaking up every bit of littleness in my sweet baby, while also juggling the ins and outs of daily life and raising two other small children.  It's a balancing act.  One that I have not yet mastered.


Time, please stand still.


But then there are the times when it is just me and Molly.... often in the wee hours of the night.  Those are the times, exhausted though I am, that I remember to soak it up.  When she pats my back as I hold her close or reaches up to touch my face as she nurses herself back to sleep... I force myself to focus on those tender moments.  Because I know all too well that in another blink of an eye, these precious moments will, too, be a distant memory.  


Time, please stand still.


And while I often lament the passing time, I am also grateful for the new and exciting things that her growth brings... fingers clasping mine as she learns to walk, the wonderful sound of my name from her lips, the tug at my feet as she looks up at me with eyes that say "I want you and only you."  


I just wish it didn't go so fast.  Oh, how I wish it didn't go so fast!


Time, please stand still.

A Bit of Fruit

After just posting about the "hay" in my previous post, I was treated to what I am going to call some "fruit" from the hay activity today.  


I opened up Noah's backpack as I do every day in the front seat of the car.  Friday's are always interesting because Friday is library day.  And Noah gets to pick two books each Friday to take home for a week.


Let me back up a bit.  One Friday in early December, I opened up his backpack and saw this:

It delighted me in so, so many ways!  Noah picked one book for himself and one book for his sister!  And his selection was so perfect for her... he picked something he knew she would really like!  I was so proud... it was one of those parenting moments that make all of the "hard work" worth it!  I basked in the glow of this selfless act for days!


The following Friday's, he reverted back to picking two books of his own liking.  He loves picking the books, so I completely understood and supported his choice to pick books for himself.  It is, after all, his special time at his school!


But today...


TODAY he did it again!  He picked a "Creepy Crawly" book for himself and a Berenstein Bear's Christmas book for Emily!  That, in and of itself, delighted me once again. 


But the best part was yet to come...


The real "fruit" came a minute or two later...


As we pulled out of the school parking lot, he said to me:


"I had a different book in my hand.  One about Planets.  But I decided to put it down and get that one for Emily instead."


I was beyond delighted!  He actually had selected a completely different book for himself.  And one about Planets... which is one of his most favorite topics of interest!  And he decided to PUT IT DOWN and choose something different for his sister!


That, my dear son, is a sacrifice!  That is giving up something for yourself and giving to someone else instead!  That is kindness at it's core.  That is spontaneous, thoughtful, selfless, generous... all the things we worked to "get a hay" for in December!


That is  "fruit".  

Can I Get a Hay for That?

 "Can I get a hay for that?" asked the hopeful, big-eyed little girl named Emily Kate.  She has asked that question in her cute little voice so many times during the past month... and she continues to do so, even though Advent has officially ended.


It's been hard to say "no" to some of her hopeful inquiries, but "getting a hay" has to be the result of a spontaneous act of faith, obedience, kindness, or good deed.  Eating your supper or going potty is not the stuff that "getting a hay" is made of!




"Getting a hay", or preparing a soft manger bed for Jesus to lay his sweet head on, has been one of our Advent traditions.  At its core, it is a reward system of sorts, but there is no material prize for earning the hay.  No Dora puppy or trip to All Star Sports.  The reward is a spiritual one... a heart that is being transformed towards wanting to do the work of Christ.  It's a concentrated way to prepare to welcome Jesus into our heart at Christmas time, but  its effects will hopefully extend beyond the season of Advent (i.e. NOW!).  The physical goal of this simple activity is to create a manger that is filled with hay on Christmas Day so that Jesus will have a soft place to lay.  The spiritual goal is to focus on doing the charitable work of Christ.  Being cheerfully obedient, showing love to each other, being helpful, practicing patience, giving to others... these are the kinds of things that are worthy of "getting a hay" ... the things that Jesus tells us to do.


Catholics sometimes get a bad rap in the "good works" department.  I've heard it said far too many times that Catholics think they can, or have to, work their way to Heaven.  Nothing could be farther than the truth!  The Catholic church teaches that we can do nothing, apart from God's grace, to receive the free gift of salvation.  


But we do believe that a response to the free gift of salvation is necessary.  That response is our faith.  And works, or doing what Jesus tells us to do, are a necessary component of that faith.  Just as Jesus said, "not everyone who says Lord, Lord will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but rather he who does the will of my Father." {Matthew 7:21}  And the "will of the Father" is spelled out for us all over the New Testament!  One of the most notable places, for me, is a little further back in the book of Matthew...


"When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,  and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left.  Then the King will say to those at his right hand, `Come, O blessed of my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;  for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.'  Then the righteous will answer him, `Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink?  And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee?  And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?'  And the King will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.'  Then he will say to those at his left hand, `Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels;  for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,  I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.'  Then they also will answer, `Lord, when did we see thee hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee?'  Then he will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.'  And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."  {Matthew 25:31-46}


Doing things for others, as Christ commanded... that is what "getting a hay" is really all about.  But no one, not even the hopeful, big-eyed Emily Kate, can ever get enough hay to earn salvation.  Salvation is a free and undeserved gift of God's grace.  We can only do our best to fill up the manger.  It is God's grace that does the rest.


So each year, we will continue to fill up our mangers during the season of Advent as we focus our hearts on doing the things that Jesus wants us to do.  And on Christmas Day, we will lay our Baby Jesus in the soft mangers we've worked to prepare.  And hopefully, our  hearts will have been transformed, even if just a bit, towards doing the charitable work of Christ and showing His love to others.  


And even though we won't be "getting a hay" after Christmas, we will continue to do our best to do the will of Christ... knowing that is the little baby inside the manger who will fill up the space we can't fill on our own!