Learning about God's Grace through Jelly Beans

Interesting title, huh?

I love finding age-appropriate activites that encourage Noah to learn about his faith, and more importantly, about God's love for him. He fully embraced the "yarn manger" activity during Advent... in fact, he routinely continues to ask... "Do I get any yarn?" when we tuck him in at night!

So, to begin teaching him about Lent and about God's grace, we are doing a Jelly Bean activity this year. To say that he is excited about it would be quite an understatment!

So here is how it works...

I started out by attempting to explain to him that because we love Jesus, we want to become better people. In order to become closer to Jesus, we need to practice doing the things that Jesus wants us to do, things like...

pray more...

share the gifts we have with other people...

be obedient...

show love to other people by practicing the golden rule...

I don't know how much of this he understood, but I'm cutting him some slack because he is only (almost) four years old!

To encourage him to practice doing these things, he is going to earn jelly beans during Lent. He gets to fill up an empty jar with his earned jelly beans, which to an (almost) four year old, seems to be an incredibly exciting thing to do!

Here are the jelly bean bags....

Yellow: Yellow reminds us of the sunshine (son). Jesus is God's son and so whenever Noah prays to Jesus, he puts in a yellow jelly bean.

Red: Red reminds us of love and how much Jesus loves us. Whenever Noah shows love to someone or performs an act of charity, he puts in a red jelly bean.

Green: Green reminds us of the garden where Adam & Eve lived. It reminds us that God asks us to be obedient to him and so whenever Noah demonstrates (no arguing) obedience, he puts in a green jelly bean.

Purple: Purple is the Lenten color and reminds us of the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. Whenever Noah offers a sacrifice (gives something to God that he really likes!), he gets to put in a purple jelly bean.

White: The white jelly beans are FREE. They remind us of God's free gift to us... grace! The white jelly beans can't be earned, just as God's grace can't be earned.

So we began filling up the jar tonight....

Noah earned 3 jelly beans...

Red for sharing his balloon with Sissy (an act of love)

Yellow for saying prayers at night and praying for Heidi

Green for being immediately obedient in putting his golf clubs away

You'll have to stay tuned to see how the story ends! It has a special ending on Easter morning! Hint... it speaks to how God's grace "fills us up"!

For now, we'll enjoy watching the jar fill up for the next 40 days... at least I hope it gets filled up!

And with God's Grace, Noah will have "become better" on Easter!

What a lesson!

Truth be told... it's probably going to teach me just as much, if not more, than it is Noah!

Farewell to Sonic and Sleeping In!

Lent starts today. This year, more than ever before, I know I need to make a sacrifice that is a real, true sacrifice.

It needs to be something that will be difficult for me to give up.
It needs to be something that will bring me closer to God.
It needs to be something that I have not done before.

So, I've decided...

I am saying FAREWELL to Sonic and Sleeping In!

Good Bye Diet Coke... & Sonic!

I love my Sonic Diet Coke runs. In fact, it's probably the thing I most look forward to in the day. I know that sounds terribly sad, but I have to admit that it's true! I don't just drink Diet Coke for the caffeine, although it is helpful since I seem to be routinely exhausted. I drink Diet Coke because I love it! It's so refreshing and Sonic, undoubtedly, has the BEST Diet Cokes available! The crushed ice, the styrofoam cup, the fountain drink syrup... it's divine!

So I think it's fair to say that this is going to be a difficult thing for me to give up. I am, however, going to start slowly so that I don't put my body into full blown withdrawl immediately! I need to be able to function for my family! But today starts the beginning of my withdrawl. I am in mourning... just a bit. I know this little "sacrifice" pales in comparison to the real heartaches and trials that many people endure each and every day. I think I will offer my sacrifices for those people... those who need the strength to endure their daily struggles.

Good Bye Sleeping In!

I do realize that my definition of "sleeping in" most likely differs quite drastically from the average person's definition! My definition of "sleeping in" quite simply means that I sleep until I hear my first child wake up. And... if that first child happens to be Noah, then I quietly turn on Sprout TV and allow him to indulge in some early morning "educational TV" while I get a few more precious moments of sleep!

I love to sleep. And I am the farthest thing from a morning person! So it will not only be a sacrifice for me to give up those precious last moments of sleep in the morning, but it will give me an opportunity to spend some much-needed quiet time with God. I feel that I have been neglecting my prayer life recently. It has not been the "unmoveable" appointment in my schedule that it needs to be. So I will start today... I will wake up earlier and spend some time in prayer. It will become the "unmoveable" appointment and I'm looking forward to it...
even if I am already mourning those last precious moments of sleep... a bit!

So FAREWELL Sonic...
And FAREWELL Sleeping In!

Lent has begun.

Faith Like a Child

I admit it...

I've been struggling recently to understand the age old question of "why do bad things happen to good people?". Or maybe the question I've been pondering is "why is there so much suffering?" and "why does it seem that heartache in this world is at an all-time high?"

Of course, my head knows the answers to these questions, but it's a long way from my head to my heart!

It seems like I hear a devastatingly sad story every day. I don't know why, but it seems that so many good, faithful people are suffering terrible sadnesses. Sickness and death.

Again, my head knows that we are not destined for this fallen world, but it's so hard not to long for and wish for long lives in this temporary, fallen world... lives free from pain and suffering and tragic endings. My head knows that we were never promised a painless life. But that doesn't stop my heart from wanting it... for myself and for others.

So I've been thinking a lot about miracles recently... and how I know people who need them! People who can only be healed through God's miraculous touch.

I know miracles can happen. I even know that they do happen!

In fact, I believe that my own son is a living, breathing miracle! I even recently read of the miraculous healing of baby Stellan. Wow!

So my head knows miracles can and do happen.

But my heart really wants and needs to witness one again!

Father Dan dubbed February "The Month of Miracles" because all of the gospel readings this month told of Jesus' miraculous healings. How wonderful it is to hear these stories! One common theme in these miracle stories is the faithfulness of those who are healed. In fact, in the story of Jesus healing the paralyzed man, there is not even a dialogue between Jesus and the paralyzed man... the man's friends simply sit him in front of Jesus... no words... no requests... just FAITH! Faith that Jesus will see his needs and make him whole. That is the kind of faith that Jesus meant when he told us to have "faith like a child."

Sometimes I wish it were easier... easier to have faith like a child.

My little Noah has that kind of faith. He really does.

I've tried to teach him about the power of prayer from the time he was old enough to understand language! I know he doesn't fully comprehend the prayers we pray, but he understands enough.

Enough to know that Jesus hears him.
Enough to know that Jesus can do anything.
Enough to know that Jesus loves every single one of us.

His "child-like faith" inspires and lifts me up. And today, on a day when I felt like I needed it most, he lifted me up with his simple prayer and his simple faith.

You see, we have been praying for some miracles...

for our cousin-in-law, Heidi, who has stage 4 melanoma...
for Princess Lindsay, who needs a new heart...
for Zachary John, whose "mended" heart still has so much left to endure...

for little Waverly, the adopted daughter of special friends, who needs a miracle to remain with her family...

Noah hears me pray these prayers when we say our "nighttime prayers" every night.

Today, as Sissy was suffering from her first-ever fever, and I was over-reacting to it with much-too-much worry, I decided to give thanks that it was only a fever and to offer a prayer with the children...

I thanked Jesus for them... for choosing me to be their mother...
I thanked Jesus for their health and asked him to heal Sissy from whatever was causing her fever...
I asked Jesus to contine to protect my children with health and saftey...

And then I asked for miracles...
for Heidi to be completely healed...
for Lindsay to receive her much-needed heart...

At the close of my prayer, I invited Noah to pray a prayer with me. Instead of choosing one of his memorized prayers like the Our Father, he responded by asking me if I would like to hear his prayer.

Of course I did.

And then I heard it. A simple prayer to Jesus asking him to do what only he can do...
heal Heidi
heal baby Lindsay, and
heal Sissy from her cold!

It was sweet. It was similar to mine. But when he prayed it, he prayed it with the faith of a child! And it lifted me up. And my heart felt renewed.

I was renewed with the faith of ...
knowing that Jesus hears us....
knowing that he can do anything...
and knowing that he loves each and every one of us!

It was such a sweet prayer that later in the day I asked him if he would like to pray again. And he did! And this time I recorded it.

I want to be able to always remember what it is to have "faith like a child"!

And so I continue to pray...

I pray for miralces.

And I pray for my own faith to be a "child-like faith"... a faith that tells my heart that miracles do and WILL happen!

Here is Noah's prayer... in two parts!

Note: Pause the blog music on the far right before you play.

Part 1:

Part 2:

And just for fun... Here is a picture that describes how Emmie was feeling today.
Poor sick baby... but she still has her Mardi Gras beads on!

25 RandomThings About Me

I made this list a couple of weeks ago after being harassed on my Facebook page! Hhmmm....
Is it possible the computer is the reason I never seem to get my "to do" lists completed?!?!

Anyway, I kind of liked it, so I thought I'd post it... if for no other reason, that to remember it at a later date!

1. I am a night owl and one of my favorite things to do is take a daytime nap... which rarely happens anymore.

2. I'm obsessed with documenting my children's lives through journals and pictures. It is my lifetime goal to keep up with scrapbooks (it's driving me insane that I'm currently behind by over a year!).

3. I think my 3 year old may be the next Tiger Woods! He has been playing 18 holes of golf with my husband since he was 2... he loves it! And he seems to have inherited his Daddy's talent :)

4. I'm a political junkie and listen to lots of talk radio (very nerdy, I know!). I enjoy talking politics, but only with people who share my views because I do not like conflict.

5. I love my faith and enjoy learning more about it.

6. I am a bit of a hypochondriac... ok, maybe I'm a LOT of a hypochondriac!

7. I am extremely passionate about things I believe in.

8. My family is my everything! I would love to have a large family... I'd love to fill up my house with 2 more kids!

9. Regarding #8, I wish I would've started my family at a younger age... not only could I have had more children, but I might not be as tired!

10. I love being a mom and often think I could be a better one. My #1 goal as a mother is to raise my children to love the Lord. If I can accomplish that, nothing else matters.

11. Since getting married over 10 years ago, I've lived in 6 different places and Austin, TX was my favorite! If it weren't for my desire to live close to my family, I'd move back to Austin in a heartbeat!

12. One of my greatest joys in life is watching my kids interact with my parents.

13. I am married to the smartest, most sensitive and supportive man alive!

14. I am obsessed with reality TV. I applied to be on Survivor once (I realize that those of you who know me well are laughing out loud at the thought of that!) and I made it to the 2nd round of interviews for the Apprentice.

15. I love to decorate and shop! I'm not sure if those are real hobbies or not, but they are what I consider my hobbies!

16. I not only hate to cook, but am horrible at it! I cannot even follow a recipe and that's not a joke!

17. I've never tried sushi and don't want to.

18. I am a worrier... about everything! This is something I constantly work on... letting go of fear and anxiety.

19. One of my favorite things to do is buy ridiculously large and expensive hair bows for my daughter.

20. My best friend is my mom and I don't know what I would do without her.

21. I hate to exercise and haven't done so since I spent 5 months in bed with my first pregnancy. That's sad! I'm trying to get motivated to start again!

22. I LOVE public speaking!

23. My favorite word is MaMa.

24. I believe in miracles and am currently praying for several dear people to receive their miracles.

25. I am grateful everything in my life! My desire is to LIVE each and every day in the present... enjoying it for what it is!

Celebrating the Little Things...

In the spirit of why I created this blog in the first place, I thought I'd start to document some of the "little things" that make my life so entertaining and blessed! I think I will continue this tradition on a regular basis... after all, it is the primary reason I started writing about my life! I love forcing myself to embrace these "little things"... it's already impacting how I live my daily life!

So... here are a few of the little things that have made me smile (and sometimes cringe with frustration!) in the past few weeks...

~ Snuggling with sweet-smelling, freshly washed babies!

~ Seeing Noah genuinely thrilled to make his home-made Valentines!

The glitter galore portion of this craft made me cringe, ever so slightly, for several days! It was worth it though when Noah told me in his ever-so-precious voice...

"Thanks Mom, for doing with project with me. I love it!"

~ Allowing Noah to wear his new soccer jersey every day...

even though it involves him making 2-3 clothing changes per day... letting go, letting go...

He is so excited to be on a soccer team (he's just signed up... he hasn't even started yet!) that he asks to wear his "jersey" everday. We then play 2 or 3 person soccer games all day long!

~ OK... so this one might be one that made me cringe with frustration...

However, I did take a step back and laugh out loud when I really saw how I can destroy my kitchen in such a short period of time! I wish it were because I was making gourmet meals that my family devoured...

Unfortunately, in my kitchen, it's generally macaroni & cheese or sandwiches and a struggle to get either child to eat any of it! Oh how I wish I were more domestically blessed in the cooking department!

Oh well... letting go, letting go...

~ Being "okay" with the fact that it's just easier to feed Emily naked!

She seems to be happier playing that way too!

~ Discovering that the "poncho-style" bibs that YaYa made for Sissy acutally work!

She can't pull them off and they cover ALL of her shirt... and that, my friends, is definitely something worth celebrating!

~ Embracing Sissy's messes... well, maybe "embrace" is a strong word...

but I'm letting her make them!

She seems to genuinely enjoy toilet paper shredding. I think it's a second favorite to emptying the Crest White Strips and "feminine products" from underneath my bathroom cabinet!

Oh well... letting go, letting go....

~ A sleeping baby. Period.

A sleeping baby is worth celebrating for several reasons!

1. Because it means I can sleep! And...

2. Because it is one of the sweetest sights in the world!

~ Seeing how EXCITED Noah was when he buttoned up his own PJ's for the first time!

He was on Cloud 9... literally! His exact words to Vance were...

"Dad... you have to watch this... it's going to be UNBELIEVABLE!"

You know what I think is unbelievable?

The excitement and sense of pride he had in learning to do something on his own! I hope I can always instill a sense of pride and esteem in my children... it's one of the "parenting" things I want most to be able to do.

I digress....

~ This one is really worth celebrating...

My "wild child" rarely relaxes or calms down enough to rest her sweet head on my shoulder.

BUT...

When I get her "softie" for bedtime, she instinctively nestles her little face into the "softie" and hence, into my shoulder.

I love it!

Of course, we couldn't capture this "sweetness" on camera!

And... she has even been falling asleep on my shoulder at bedtime...

Sometimes, I just stay in her room holding her like that and trying to memorize what it feels like to hold her tiny, sweet body in my arms...

It's something I want to never forget... ever!

~ Letting Noah hang out on the countertop and play with the Ipod...

I know it should be "against the rules" to let him play on the countertop, but he loves it so much. And... as a bonus, it keeps him entertained for quite a long time!

~ Seeing the excitement Noah had when he got "all the way" to the middle of his first "Blow Pop"!

He actually got the gum and boy, was he excited! He couldn't believe it!

His exact words to me were...

"Mom... you're begenius!"

My response... belly laughter accompanied by... "I'm begenius?"

"Yes! Do you know what that means?"

My response... "No, what does begenious mean?"

"It means you have really good ideas!"

Aren't (almost) 4 year olds fun?

Talk about finding joy in the little things in life... Noah really does that on a daily basis. I can learn a lot from him... and I am!

Oh! and one more....

Watching the Bachelor with my hubby!

I love watching TV with him and we rarely want to watch the same thing. However, the Bachelor gives us enormous amounts of enjoyment!

So that's it for this installment of "Celebrating the Little Things". I'll end this post with one final picture....

I had to incude it because it's a rarity that I get a photo of both kids looking at the camera and smiling! This was taken before church a few weeks ago and they just looked so darn cute!

So here's to celebrating the little things in my life and to Living Out Loud!

Posts from Website

Before I took the plunge and decided to officially start blogging, I had started to journal a bit about my role as a mother. I think I will discontinue that portion of the website and use this blog instead. So, I'm copying those previous posts so as not to lose any of my dear thoughts and memories!


Such a sweet homecoming
February 09, 2009
I went to Dallas over the weekend for a SLAH meeting. When the kids saw me for on Sunday morning, they were so happy and excited to see me. Little Emily came crawling as fast as she could to my bed saying "Ma-Ma Ma-Ma Ma-Ma"! What a sweet sound! Both kids blanketed me with hugs and kisses! I truly believe this is one of the best parts of being a parent... the excitement your kids have when you come home! It makes you feel like the most special person in the world!

I have it!
January 29, 2009
Yes, I do... I have the baby bug! I've been feeling it come on slightly, but as I shopped the aisles of Babies R Us today, it really hit me! I really want another baby... actually 2 of them :) Seeing all of the little things that are only for the little babies (swaddle blankets, boppy pillows, special bathtubs, cradles, etc.) made me really long for a tiny baby again! I know I will be a crazy person with another baby, but I also know that the craziness only lasts for a short period.

Being pregnant scares me... I'm always such a nervous wreck when I'm pregnant (actually I'm a nervous wreck all the time!)... I don't look forward to the anxieties that come along with being pregnant... and having a new baby! BUT... I do want them, because with them, comes another little miracle! We'll have to see what God has in store for our family, but it is clear to me that I am ready to be blessed with another set of tiny fingers and tiny toes.

Learning to Let Go
January 27, 2009
I've always prided myself on being a good organizer and a good housekeeper. In fact, housework is something that I have always enjoyed! I can remember, even in college, that I would clean my house prior to studying so that I could study in a fresh, clean place. Having a clean and orderly house has always provided me with a sense of peace and wellbeing. I just love a picked up, clean house!

Given this unique characteristic, it was especially difficult for me to understand comments that were made to be as a new mom... comments such as "you just have to let your house go" and "your housecleaning can wait, but your children will grow up fast", etc. I remember thinking... "you don't understand! If my house is chaotic, I will be chaotic!" I simply couldn't understand the concept of just "letting things go" that in my opinion, just needed to be done!

How children change us... in so many ways! Miss Emily Kate is a handful and a half! She makes messes faster than I can clean them up! Her mobility has provided her with even more opportunities to make messes too. Recently, I found myself thinking... "all I ever do is stand in this kitchen and make meals (that my kids won't eat), clean up the mess (which is all over the walls, chairs, floor and countertops), vacuum, and then it's only about an hour before the whole episode starts over again!" In fact, last week, I had my house cleaned and I told Vance that we simply could not eat dinner at home that evening... I just needed to enjoy that clean kitchen for an entire 1/2 day!

At some point in the last week, I've started to realilze that I need to "let go" of so many of the chores that I have always wanted to do. It is making me a bit crazy, but cleaning the floor 3 times a day makes me crazy too! Emily's messes are not the end of the world and I'm learning to just let her make them (instead of constantly telling her no). Maybe I need to be changed. When I let go of these little things, it allows me more time to focus on the big things... like watching Emily and Noah be sweet to eachother for the first time in a long time, or help Emily learn to stand up by herself, or color with Noah.... So I'm challenging myself to continue to learn to let go of the things that don't matter! It is a challenge, but a good one!

Oh... to be young and love an office!

Noah is in love with the idea of "working"... especially in an office!

Soon after we completed our basement, he declared that his "office" was conveniently located in the storage closet right next to my new office space.

This works well except when Noah is actually doing his "work" because his "work" entails him destroying my filing system!



At any rate, Noah loves offices, but his favorite office of all is his Daddy's office!

And that's where we went today! Noah was so excited... the first thing he said when I picked him up from preschool today was "We're going to Daddy's office now!" He was more excited about that than the big bag of candy covered Valentines he had received at school!

So... off we went for an exciting visit to Daddy's office... his "big new" office!



Where we lunched in the cafeteria...



Correction: Daddy and I lunched. Noah picked out an assortment of food (chips, macaroni, pizza, mashed potatoes) and ended up eating approximately 10 Sun Chips! Emily... well we know her meal of choice... nothing!

Note: Noah is not trying to strangle Emily... this is actually one of his sweeter embraces!

Oh! To be young and dream of the day you will get to go to work in an office!

Either that or grow up to be a basketball player (Noah's first choice)!

God invented "Nap Time"

It hit me today!

God must have invented "nap times" for small children so that their mothers could take the nap they need! It's really the mother's that need the naps... not the children! And God knew this... so he invented "nap times" for small children!

If only it worked that way!

As I rocked sweet Emily before her nap time today, I was secretly dreaming of the nap I planned to take once she and Bubby were fast asleep. I was so tired and I couldn't wait to take a "power nap"... the one that would take me happily through the rest of the day and night. God knew that mother's needed naps too! It's why he invented "nap times"... right!

Well, my "nap time" went something like this...
I start to doze off and I hear Noah yelling out that he has to go potty...
I start to doze off again and I hear Noah playing in the living room...
I start to doze off again and I hear Noah yelling out that he has to go potty again...
I start to doze off again and I see Noah in my room proclaiming his un-tiredness to me...

And so it went...

In the end, I didn't get my nap... and neither did Noah!

If only God would have invented "guaranteed nap times" for small children!

Living Out Loud... the beginning

Recently, I have found myself contemplating the way I live my life.

Maybe it's because I will turn 35 this year...
Maybe it's because I've now been married for over 10 years...
Maybe it's because Emily turned 1 and I couldn't believe how fast her first year went...
Maybe it's because I was introduced to the world of blogging through a friend whose baby was born sick...
Maybe it's because I know so many people suffering... real sufferings...

Whatever the reason, I've been contemplating how I live my life. And I realized I needed to change.

I am a busy person. I always have been. I love being involved with just about everything. I am known for "going overboard" on just about everything I do or plan. I'm a perfectionist. I don't like things to be chaotic, messy and cluttered. And I'm also a worrier. I worry about everything... from a cough to a bump... I always fear the worst.

To sum it up... I've been living a much too busy life... I've been living my life in fear... I've been living a life filled with worry...

I've had an epiphany...My busy, worry-filled way of living is robbing me of the joy of really LIVING! It's robbing me of the joy of celebrating the little things in life. It's robbing me of embracing the daily joys and struggles of raising my two sweet children. It's robbing me of LIVING out LOUD!

So I've made a resolution....
To be less busy.
To let go of my perfectionism.
To stop living in fear.
To trust more and worry less.

I want to live a life in which I celebrate the little things!

So I've started this blog to help me celebrate my life and the lives of my sweet family. I'm blessed beyond measure...

I'm married to the sweetest, most hard working and loyal man alive... my sweet husband, Vance.
I'm blessed with two charming and adorable children...
Noah... my miracle baby with a huge personality and a tender heart...
And Emily... my feisty, full-of-life, baby girl... the one I've dreamed about for as long as I can remember.

Somewhere, along the way, I've lost sight of how blessed I am. I've gotten too bogged down in the business and messiness of raising small children.

So this is the beginning...

The beginning of my journey of learning to celebrate the little things in life and of learning to "live out loud"! So join me in celebrating... and along the way, you can keep up to date on the happenings in the Holtzman Household!