But sometimes I think he is actually a teenager tucked inside of a little 9 year old boys body. His seriousness combined with his heightened emotions are more typical of someone quite older than him.
For the past few years he has struggled with a lack of confidence. Especially when it comes to athletics.
But over the past year, his lack of confidence has escalated and now extends to most aspects of his life... not just simply athletics.
"I wish I didn't have blonde hair. I look weird with blonde hair."
"I'm shorter than some of the 1st graders. I hate being so small."
"No one ever picks me to be on their team at recess."
"I'm the worst one."
"_______ likes _______ better than me."
"I am the weirdest looking kid in the whole school."
All of these things I hear on a regular basis. It's sad, confusing, and many times, frustrating. Building a child's self esteem is not as easy as one would think. I personally think he's great and tell him so often. But kids want the approval of their peers; not their parents. And so his lack of confidence is something that we deal with on a very constant and regular basis.
BUT...
When he steps onto a golf course, Noah is a completely different kid.
On the course, he is totally happy and TOTALLY confident.
There is not an ounce of self doubt when he steps up to the tee to swing his club.
I'm so, so grateful for this place. And pray it continues to be a source of happiness and belonging for him.
This summer, he spent hours upon hours upon hours at his Happy Place. I dropped him off nearly every morning. And he camped out there until dusk. He made friends (all a bit older than him) who he played with on a regular basis. They had putting contests and ate lunch in the clubhouse and played the course in the heat of the day when most people were working. He was basically a country club rat all summer.
And he loved every scorching hot second of it!
And all of those hours paid off! His game improved immensely and he had a lot of tournament success this summer.
He kicked off the summer by attending a Nike Golf camp at WSU. Technically, he wasn't old enough to attend but they made an exception based on his skill level. He was really nervous to attend, but ultimately loved it and didn't want it to end! He won 3 special awards and the admiration of the older kids and the coaches. Both of the coaches made special mention to both me and Vance not only about Noah's golf abilities, but about his personal attributes. They complimented him in so many ways about his sportsmanship, manners, encouragement to others... the kind of compliments that make a parent feel so proud; prouder than any certificate will ever make feel.
He had to miss a day of Nike camp because he was asked to play with our club pro at the Pro-Am tournament that comes to Wichita every year. It was quite an honor!
He won 1st place (his goal from last year was just to make the leader board!) in his division (5 hole) in the club Junior golf championship. And he didn't just win, he won by 8 strokes! Incidentally, he beat all of the kids in the 10-12 age group too! He'll definitely be moving op to the 9 hole group next year!
He also played on our club's PGA Junior team. At the end of the season, the coach selected 2 players to be a part of the All-Star team and Noah was one of them. They got to compete at the regional level. He teamed up most of the summer with an older girl named Brooklyn. She was also selected as an All Star. It was fun to see them interact with one another. They made a really good team!
We registered on a whim and had to drive to Tulsa for the first round of this national contest. Vance and Noah went together. I didn't think he stood a chance. He had to register based on his age as of April 2015. That put him in the 10-11 year division instead of the 8-9 division. That was the first hurdle. The second hurdle was the format of the contest itself. Contestants are scored on 3 drives, 3 chips and 3 putts. That's it! In the first round, he had to place in the top 3 in order to move on to the next round.
And he did it!
He placed 3rd. Which meant he got to move on to the next round, which would again be played in Tulsa, but would include the Top 3 finishers from the entire region.
He drove first and did decent.
And then he stepped up for his first chip and it went long. Not a good score.
He stepped up to his second chip and chipped it in! I broke every single rule of golf etiquette with my screams!
And then the third...within inches of the hole!
At that point, Vance knew he was in decent shape if he could do well with his putts.
His first putt... sunk it! More screaming on my part!
Second putt... sunk it too!
Third putt (and the longest and hardest)...within a foot or so of the hole! A great score!
Which meant he placed second overall and won himself a place in the regional FINALS in Dallas!
In early September we traveled to Dallas for the Championship round. In order to get to the finals (which would be played at Augusta during the week of the Masters!), he had to place 1st. Only 1 person got to move on from this round. They switched up the order at this round.
He putted first.
First putt... sunk it (along with the others in his group).
Second putt... missed it. By quite a long shot.
Third putt... missed it and we could visibly see the frustration.
Bad putting score.
He was so upset. Vance tried to help him rebound by noting that chipping was his strength and he could make up ground there. But we knew that unless the front runner (who had placed 1st in both of the first 2 rounds) had a super bad day, his chance to move on had likely just vanished.
Next was chipping. And he did well. Well enough to WIN the chipping contest overall.
And then driving.
Driving is always the hardest for Noah. His lack of strength prevents him from getting very much distance. But he hits straight and almost always hits the fairway. And in this final event of this championship round, after his putting had frustrated him, he came back to hit score the highest he had ever scored in driving. Well enough to place 3rd overall in DRIVING. He had not placed at all in the driving category in the first two rounds, so to place in this event was AMAZING for him!
Overall, he tied for 3rd. A huge accomplishment!
I was so proud of his ability to do well in the chipping and driving after having a bad putting round. He didn't let his head or his frustration get to him. He didn't self doubt and allow the negative thoughts that are so much a part of how he views himself take over. He stayed confident. Disappointed, but confident. And he did his thing in those last 2 events and I couldn't have been prouder!
He, on the other hand, was visibly disappointed. But he has a new golfing goal for 2015!
Golf...
I love golf. I love that Noah loves golf. I love that golf loves him.
I'm so grateful that God blessed him with this special talent.
Because it is this talent that gives him a chance to feel confident.
To feel proud.
To feel unafraid.
To feel HAPPY.
The golf course. His Happy Place. He is so different in this place.
And I love to watch it.
