Heart"felt" Prayers for Zachary

Update at the bottom of post...

Before my friend, Michelle, had a baby born with a congenital heart defect, my knowledge of congenital heart defects was nominal, at best.

The only knowledge I had about congenital heart defects related to a condition that I had when I was pregnant with my Noah. I had a "two vessel cord" and one of the things it could have been indicative of was a "congenital heart defect" or a "chromosomal abnormality". I will never forget the feeling that overcame me when I heard those words. I was nothing short of terrified.

I spent the majority of that pregnancy on strict bedrest (for several reasons) and while I did my level best to trust the Lord with my unborn son, I was literally terrified that he would be born with a complication.

I went to a perinatologist who did high level ultrasounds of Noah on a frequent basis. I remember him telling me at one appointment... "the heart looks normal and I don't see any holes in it. But of course, there are still things that we can't see on ultrasound." Again, worry and fear engulfed me and I spent days and days in my bed at home praying for my unborn son to be born whole and healthy.

But the bottom line is that I was just plain scared.

Noah's delivery was full of complications and we ultimately ended up in the operating room. When he was finally born, the very first words I said to my OB (who knew how terrified I was) were...

"Is he...."

She didn't let me finish the sentence. She finished it for me when she said...

"He is chromosomally normal."

Momentarily, my fears were calmed, only to feel that overwhelming feeling again seconds later when a man leaned down to look me in the face as I lay on the operating room table.

He said...

"My name is Dr. something and I'm a neonatologist. Your son is having some trouble breathing so we're going to take him to a stabilization room."

I got to hold my first born for a second or two before he was whisked away from me. The next time I saw him he was laying in a NICU bed hooked up to oxygen and making a horrifying "grunting" sound.

I was literally so scared I didn't even know how to handle it. I had to leave the room because my fear was so crippling.

I hate that feeling... crippling fear. I still feel it from time to time and it's absolutely the worst feeling in the world.

This post is not about me or Noah because in my story, Noah was ultimately released from the NICU, went home with us, and is healthy and whole.

But I still worry. I worry about my kids everyday.

As a parent, I don't think that we ever have the complete pleasure of not worrying about our kids. At least I haven't figured out how to do it yet. I'm working on it, but I have a long way to go! But I know that the answer to feeling peace rests in prayer and trusting in the Lord.

I share this story just to say that in a very, very, very small way, I understand the fear and anxiety associated with having a child with "health complications". I only understood those terrifying feelings for a short time and they in no way compare to what so many families experience on an ongoing basis... day after day after day.

As scared as I was during my pregnancy, I vividly remember the peace I felt when certain individuals would tell me that they were praying for my unborn son. There were certain people and groups of people whose prayers for my unborn son I literally "felt". I KNEW, really KNEW, that they were praying for him. And they were able to pray for him during the times when I felt too scared to pray. I "felt" those prayers and they calmed me. That is the one and only time in my life that I "felt" prayer in that way.

Other than my brief experience with that "crippling fear", I can't even begin to imagine what my friend, Michelle, must be feeling as she anticipates her son's 2nd open heart surgery that will take place in 1 month.

Zachary was born with a congenital heart defect... a serious one. He had open heart surgery only days after he was born. And he needs two more surgeries in order to fully "mend" his broken heart.

My knowledge of congenital heart defects is still very limited. I just now know that they do happen. And they happen to people that I know. And not everyone hears their perinatologist say the words... "the heart looks normal."

I have experienced, in a very small way, what it FEELS like to need the prayers of many. I have also experienced what it feels like to KNOW, really KNOW, that people are praying for my intention. And so I consider it a privilege to be able to pray for little Zachary and his "heart friends".

And I'd like to ask you to join me in praying for my friends, Steve, Michelle & Zachary Hagerott. They are exemplary examples of Christian parents and are wholeheartedly placing their trust in the Lord. I stand in awe of their courage and faith... and patience (they have FIVE boys!).

I received an email from Michelle this morning requesting prayer. Thank you in advance for praying for this dear family as they walk a path that so many of us can't even imagine being on. I know from a very limited firsthand experience that they "feel" the prayers being offered on their behalf. And it is carrying them through an otherwise daunting situation. Thank you!

From Michelle:

Friends and family,

One month from today our baby Zachary will undergo his second open heart surgery at the University of Michigan Hospital in Ann Arbor. Again our family will be separated, so we are asking for many prayers. Please pray that God guide the gentle hands of Zachy's surgeon, that the surgery is a success and that he recover without major complications. We also request prayers for our family...strength in these stressful circumstances, understanding during our time of separation, and comfort for big brothers while Mommy and Daddy are away. Big brothers' grandparents, aunts, and uncles in Wichita will need LOTS of prayers to keep their cool with four little boys under their roofs! Please pass this prayer request along to anyone who might take Zachy's intention to heart. You can follow his story at http://www.carepages.com/carepages/ZacharyJohn.

With heartfelt thanks,

Steve and Michelle

Updated (again):

This precious little girl is Bentley and her mother and I discovered we share a love of BIG BOWS, among other things! Bentley is having her first open heart surgery on Wednesday. Her mother is, as any mother would be, sad and scared for what lies ahead. As you pray for Zachary, please consider adding little Bentley to your prayers over the upcoming days! You can read more about this sweet "heart"at http://www.youandmeplusthree.com/.