We are officially two full weeks into the school year and I'm already exhausted.
Exhausted by the routine.
Exhausted with the busyness and schedule.
Exhausted with the culture I live in.
Exhausted with trying to live by my conscience and resist the push.
The push to over schedule kids.
The push to send kids to school all day... even in Kindergarten.
The push to teach kids to read early.
The push to over-excel in everything.
The push to give kids iphones and ipads and all kinds of techy nonsense.
The push to allow kids to listen to inappropriate music; because it's popular and "catchy".
The push to dress kids in clothes that are far beyond their age.
The push to have kids grow up too quickly.
I sometimes feel like an alien; living in a world where the things I value seem to have no place.
Where is the push to let kids be kids?
The push to encourage games of hide and seek and dress-up during the after school hours?
The push to keep kids protected from media and influences that are not age appropriate?
The push to have family meals together?
The push to slow down and not run yourself ragged every evening driving from activity to activity?
The push to teach kids that treating people kindly on the sports field is more important than whether or not a teammate makes a good play.
The push to enforce boundaries and limits and protect kids' hearts and minds?
The push to teach kids kindness over accelerated reading?
The push to dress kids like kids; not like teenagers?
The push to keep kids kids for as long as it is developmentally appropriate?
The push to just be.
I feel pushed and pulled and judged and conflicted and just downright exhausted.
Having school aged children is different from having small children still at home.
Both are exhausting in different ways.
But in these first few days of school, I'm finding that the push is more exhausting than unclogging toilets and cleaning up spilled shampoo. It's more frustrating than repeatedly answering the same question 50 times or picking up toys for the millionth time. It's more concerning than sibling spats or a toddler's inability to share.
The push is something that comes with raising school aged kids in today's uber-competitive, over-scheduled, media-obsessed world. It seems to be a societal norm. One that I'm not comfortable or okay with.
And I'm exhausted with trying to resist the push and pull back instead.
But as I look at my over-scheduled calendar, I realize that I, too, have been pushed to conform, to participate, to join in the culture of pushing kids too hard and allowing too much, too early.
I have no answers.
I'm just exhausted and wish our culture would focus on pushing kids in different ways...
pushing towards God,
pushing towards family time,
pushing towards kindness and compassion for others,
pushing towards contentment,
pushing towards playing for fun rather than playing to win,
pushing towards pride in doing your best, even if it isn't the best in the class,
pushing towards modesty,
pushing towards moderation and limitations,
pushing kids to just be kids.
7 comments:
Danielle, I am a mom in my late-ish 20s with two, going on three kids. My oldest is slightly over 3. Already I feel burdened by this. There was this push that I put her in preschool...at THREE. There is this push that she should know letters, numbers, letter sounds, and sight words by kindergarten. Wasn't that what kindergarten was for? I am adamantly stickin by letting her be a kid for as long as I can. And, crazily and scarily, in feeling pushed by God to consider homeschooling! I'm terrified, but I know for me, if God is pushing me, I should probably listen. That's the only good push. And if its too much, I always can send them to school! But, pray for me! I'll pray for you and this pushiness
(My phone sometimes cuts me off). Your heart and desires are SO in the right place. I know since you have those convictions so engrained in you, you will teach your beautiful children what is good and right! You're a wonderful mom!
Never doubt that!
Natasha... thank you so much for the sweet comment. You are right, the push actually does begin before school age. I was actually just discussing the absurdity of so many parents trying to over-achieve their preschoolers! It's insane! I do send my kids to preschool, but I tell everyone that it is NOT academically focused. It is play focused and adorable. People often wonder why I would do that and I want to scream and say "BECAUSE THEY ARE IN PRESCHOOL!" And no matter how much those parents push their kids, they will still end up in Kindergarten with kids who can't read a word (like my Emily!). I, too, wrestled with homeschooling for an entire year. I was so tempted and felt a pull towards it. But in the end, I didn't think I could manage it. I am still envious of the mom's who do it. Maybe one day, I will feel confident enough to give it a try! Good luck to you and thanks again for the encouragement!
Ditto to all of this! I sat down the other night and your up all the possible activities we could get involved with this year and we could literally to something every evening and weekend and still not do it all. Is crazy. But it's also part of the world we live in and, in this case, one way to push back against the business and over scheduled life is to live a quieter and simpler life in our own homes and families first. Eventually, those who live busy lives get burned out and when that happens is a good time to refocus and be humbled. I think also that we tend to get busy to fill the "silence."when it's only on silence when we truly hear and see God alive in our lives.
Such a wonderful post!!! I share your sentiments and struggle with the same things...I get the strangest looks when people ask me what activities my children are signed up for and I tell them my 5 year old is taking dance. That's it. No..not tennis and gymnastics and swimming and dance...and yes, my kindergartner is "only" going to school 3 half days and 2 full days...and yes, my three year old is "only" going to preschol two mornings a week, and no, I don't have him or the baby signed up for any "extra-curriculur" activities...why do I need them to be out of the house?? Enrichments are wonderful and can be so fulfilling to children, but why do they have to be so over-scheduled?? It's hard enough as it is to have time as a family....and you know what...sometimes we just all want to stay home in our pj's and cuddle and play. My daughter doesn't know who Katy Perry or Taylor Swift or One Direction or any of those are...and I'm glad. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to read posts like this one (and comments from other readers!) and realize that I'm not wacky for wanting my kids to be kids for as long as possible.
I just read through my comment again - sorry for all the typos! Silly Kindle.
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