It Does, Indeed, Take a Village

During a play date this morning, one of my friends said "it takes a village" in response to me thanking her for tending to the needs of one of my children while I met the needs of another.  She says this phrase often and it got me thinking about its meaning.


The first time I ever heard the phrase, "it takes a village to raise a child", was from Hillary Clinton.  I was probably in college and really had no idea what she was talking about.  I now realize that her use of the phrase was in reference to social and government programs that I do not support or favor.  


BUT...


Through my own personal experience with parenting, I have to say that I think it does, indeed, take a village to help raise a child!  Or rather, it takes a village to help the mother of the children not go crazy!


I've been at this parenting thing for over seven years now.  Parenting doesn't have the standard learning curve associated with most other skill sets.  If I spent over seven years working on any other "skill", I would surely have mastered it or at least been on the downward slope of the  curve.  


If parenting were like mastering other "skills", I'd surely know by now how to get a child to sleep through the night.  Or how to get a toddler to eat.  Or how to get a 7 year old to obey me without negotiation.  


But I don't!  I'm constantly climbing up the steep incline of the parenting learning curve hoping that one day, just maybe, I'll enjoy an easier ride down the slope of the curve!  


Parenting is an ongoing learning experience.  


And some days are easier than others.  There are days when I smile at night; thinking that I've done a pretty good job that day... like I'm at the top of the curve, ready to slide on down the other side.


And then there are the tough days.  Days when I feel like I'm stuck at the bottom of the incline; struggling to even start the climb.


Today was one of those kind of days.  There were lots of tears.  Tears from all of my children.  And tears from me!  


Today was a day that I needed a "village".


And I'm blessed be able to say that I have one!


My "village" consists of many people who help me in my role as parent to four small souls...


My husband.
He works hard day in and day out to provide for us, he gives baths, plays in the backyard, combs wet hair, makes morning lunches for Noah, drives to school, lets me get extra sleep on the weekends, gets Molly when she wakes at night, shoots hoops, waters the plants at night, and works just as hard at home as he does at work. 


My mom.  
She takes my kids to school, drives them to lessons and ballgames so that they aren't late, drives through McDonalds to bring them breakfast, prays with Noah in the mornings, fixes pigtails, washes clothes, saves us seats for church, and comes to my aid each and every time I call in need of help.  She is my biggest supporter and she helps immensely with my parenting.


My dad.  
He comes over to play with the kids in the evenings, pitches baseballs, holds babies while I do dishes, reads books, plays marbles, checks my house for locked doors when Vance is gone, puts Noah to bed and rubs his back, and is a fun and welcome presence in each of the kids' lives.


My mother in law.
She comes any time we are in need of long term (or short term!) help.  She empties my dishwasher, folds laundry, irons my clothes, does "workbooks" with the kids, reads books, makes peanut butter toast every morning for breakfast, does puzzles, makes beautiful quilts, blankets, "softies" and pillows for the kids, takes in the waistlines of the girls' clothes, and does her best to make my life easier while she is here.


My future sister-in-law.
She helps me get kids ready for baseball games, attends dance recitals, makes food for me, teaches me to make food, picks up things I need at the store, holds babies and toddlers while I take pictures at the bigger kids' events, makes home made play dough for the kids, and is always the first to say "I can help you with that"!


My church friends.
This group consists of other mom's with multiple small children.  They sunscreen my kids while I feed the baby, hold the baby while I take someone potty, get snacks and drinks for my kids, help them up and down stairs, wrap them in towels when they are cold from the water, change diapers, and when asked to, pray for my kids and me.  And perhaps most importantly, these mom's lend a supportive word and give me an encouraging hug on the tough days like today.


I am constantly learning how to be a good parent.  I think I will always be somewhere on the parenting learning curve; never completely mastering it.  I will always need reinforcement, support, and help.  


There will always be good days and there will always be tough days.  Whether it's a good day or a bad day, I'm grateful to have the small army of support that I have because without it, parenting would be much more difficult.  I'm lucky and I'm blessed to have these people in my life, because...


it does, indeed, take a village!  At least it does at the Holtzman household!


And I'm so glad to have the "village" that I have!

{Playing with the children of my "village"}