Just like I still had a pumpkin on my porch while everyone else was singing Christmas carols and gazing at their decorated homes and trees, I am still posting about Christmas when everyone else is posting about New Year's resolutions! Noah is still listening to Christmas music and there are still remnants of Christmas decorations lingering around my house!
Nevertheless...
It is officially 2011... a brand new year. And like most everyone, I've been giving a lot of thought to what 2010 was and what I hope 2011 will be.
By all accounts, my 2010 was beyond good. We were blessed with a third healthy child. Vance's job was secure in a year when many, many people experienced lay offs and pay cuts. My family, including my extended family, is healthy. We have a lovely home that is close to family members who help us immensely. My efforts to supplement our income, while working from home, have been very successful. We have a wonderful church community.
All in all, we have absolutely nothing to complain about and everything to be happy about!
In spite of all of those blessings, as I reflect on 2010, I feel as if I have been more stressed, less patient, more grouchy, less positive, and more worried than ever before!
I'm more than a little embarrassed to write that, but it is the truth. A truth I don't like very much. There are, of course, reasons for it (mainly extreme, extreme sleep deprivation), but those reasons really don't matter. As my mom tells me, God cares much more about how we respond to our circumstances than He does about the circumstances themselves. And suffice it to say, I haven't been a very good responder as of late.
A few weeks before Christmas, we attended Vance's work Christmas party where I interacted with a young man who Vance hired several months ago. He is one of those "positive people"... you know, the kind who always see the glass as half full, not half empty. He exudes positivity, always has a smile on his face, and is one of those people who really grabs life by the horns and sucks every ounce out of it.
I want to be one of those people. I really do. I want to live in the moment, celebrate the little things in life, live out loud... it's why I started this blog in the first place!
And I try to live that way. But by nature, I have to admit that I am a "glass half empty" girl. I see negative in a situation more easily than I see positive. I am quick to react to the negative. And I am a worrier. A BIG worrier. An eternal optimist, I am not.
I took a parenting class before Molly was born and one of the lessons that I really clung to is that children emulate what they see being demonstrated in the home. In other words, if they hear yelling and screaming, they are very likely to yell and scream too. Instinctively, I probably knew this, but seeing the black and white research that supported it was something that has really stuck with me. So I try (big emphasis on the word try) not to demonstrate behaviors that I would not want my children to use and I try to practice the positive behaviors I want to instill in them. For example, if I expect them to say please and thank you, then I must say please and thank you to them too. This all makes perfect sense to me.
Having said all that, I'm not sure why it didn't dawn on me earlier that this same concept applies to my overall attitude too. We've been having too many discussions with Noah recently about his "negative attitude". But it wasn't until the night of that Christmas party and my observance of Wes' positivity that it struck me... perhaps I have been contributing to Noah's negativity by my example. If I complain, he will too. If I worry all the time, he will too. If I see the glass half empty, he will too. It was a reality that hit me square in the face that evening as we drove home from the Christmas party.
And then, as if God knew that I needed to hear it again, Father Dan gave a Christmas homily that spoke directly to me. He described the scene from Christmas 2009. It was, quite literally, a blizzard outside. Freezing cold. Snow and ice everywhere. As he waited in the gathering space on Christmas Eve 2009, he saw a very elderly couple trying to make it in the door for Mass. They were struggling to walk against the wind and snow that was beating against their faces. As he went outside to help them in, he hoped they wouldn't be mad. After all, there were many reasons they could have been mad. He thought they might be mad because they were wet and cold. Or they might be mad because even though all of the other churches had cancelled their services, the Catholic church was still having Mass! The extreme weather conditions were, at a minimum, very challenging for such an elderly couple. So as he extended his arm to help this very elderly lady, hoping she wouldn't be too mad, she enthusiastically said to him...
"Wow! The children sure are going to love this snow for Christmas."
She was a "Wes"... one of those people who finds the positive in every situation. And Father Dan challenged us to live like that too. As I reflected on all he had to say that night, I had to admit to myself that my reaction would not have been the same positive reaction that elderly lady had. But I want it to be.
So while there are lots of positive changes I'd like to work on in 2011...
- lose weight
- cook more
- play with the kids more
- pray more
- spend less money
- do more for others
- spend less time on the computer
- read more
- sleep more... a lot more!
- attend daily Mass (at least once a week)
- exercise
- see opportunities for random acts of kindness
- spend more time with friends
- have date nights with my husband
- reconnect with old friends
-
the thing I really want to change is my attitude!
I want to raise positive children. Children who don't worry, who grab life by the horns and suck every ounce out of it. I want to raise children who will have the kind of reaction that elderly lady had. I want my children to be "glass half full" people.
And so my 2011 resolution is to start filling my own glass.
I want to be a positive example to the little people in my house whose very character and attitudes are, in large part, formed by me. A friend wrote on her blog today that the mother sets the tone for the household, and so my resolution for 2011 is to set a tone that is more optimistic and less stressful than the one that lingered for too long in 2010.
Happy New Year and here's to filling the glass!
4 comments:
Great post, Danielle. I've been thinking about you lately. Have you read "Hinds' Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard? I am about halfway through and it is amazing. I think you'd really like it, and it's a fairly fast read. You should give it a try. Here's to a great, POSITIVE 2011. GOD BLESS!!!!
i've been thinking about this same thing a lot. and especially, the way my attitude affects my boys. thank you for the reminder.
Well put! One way that I have "forced" myself to make it to daily Mass more often is to sign up to lead the rosary once or twice a month in the evening. Just a thought :)
Don't be too hard on yourself though....I too am a worrier, and seem to have instilled that into Keira inadvertantly. HOWEVER, I also see some of my BEST qualities in her, and see your "wonderfulness" in Noah as well. There is no such thing as a perfect person, nor a perfect parent, regardless of how positive one may seem on the outside. BUT, in their eyes (our children's), we are as perfect as they come! Don't forget that!
Michelle
I can SO relate to every word of this post! Loved reading it! I am really trying to force myself to be more optimistic...especially this time of the year when it is so easy (and I feel like I have every right to be) depressed and glass half empty mentality. I know that spring is on the way...and try to think about all that grows through the hard times...only to flourish even more when God blooms it open again! I love all your goals...I have a list very similiar myself! :) We will have to be encouragers to each other!
Always love hearing your heart, friend...so beautiful!
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