Overheard {a piece of my heart just broke}

A little piece of my heart just literally broke.

It's been slowly cracking and chipping off, but as of today, I'm certain it officially broke.

The reason for the chipping at my heart:  my sweet firstborn girly girl who has spent the entirety of her life dressing up and delighting in all things "girly" is... growing up.

The cracking started when she started to favor headbands over bows for her school hairdos.

It cracked further when she intermittently begged to fix her own hair for school. 

And that crack was completed when she nonchalantly told me that she doesn't really like bows that much anymore.  Bows!  The accessory she has dawned nearly everyday since she had hair long enough to hold one.  

Another fracture started when she began to favor regular jeans over her denim ruffle pants.

That fracture deepened when she began to choose jeans.  Regular old jeans.  The same article of clothing that she used to protest; worried that they would make her look like a boy.

And that fracture was completed when she started asking to wear regular tennis shoes over her cute mary jane style ones; asking for new ones to match those of her school friends.

But today, this little conversation was what broke those fractured pieces right off of my sentimental heart.

Molly:  "Mommy... sometimes Emmie doesn't like to dress up with me anymore.  That makes me sad."

Me:  "Emmie... is that true?  You don't like to dress up anymore?"

Emily:  (with a shy smile and a tilt of her head that shows she is aware of how her answer will affect me) "Not that much."

I literally held back the stinging, wet drops begging to fall from my eyes.  

As I looked at my six year old beauty describing the kind of new tennis shoes she wants... the ones with lots of bright colors...I knew her days of dressing up were probably numbered.

Time marches on... at warp speeds.

I fail, so often, to stop and enjoy the specialness of these chaotic, stressful, tender, memory-making years.

Sometimes I need a conversation like this one to remind me to take note, to savor, to slow down and watch.

Because I know this is only the beginning of a lifetime of fractures to my sentimental mama heart.