I'm turning into one of "those" parents I said I would never be.
The kind who...
is too tired to follow through with disciplinary action...
allows way too much T.V....
feeds her kids fast food...
drops her child off at preschool, unshowered, toting a toddler in PJ's...
gives way too many "warnings"...
doesn't pick up the toys at night...
"gives in" to whining too often...
allows sugar before bedtime...
continues to get up once, twice, sometimes three times every night to give one (or two) children more milk...
doesn't make her bed...
doesn't clean up the floor after each meal...
allows too much arguing...
doesn't put make up on or fix her hair...
says the words "because I said so"...
can't seem to instill a spirit of sharing amongst her two children...
That parent.
Take today for example.
Just today, I...
have yet to take a shower or even put on clean clothes...
allowed my son to skip school (on the 3rd day back!) because he said he was too tired to get up and I was too tired to argue with him...
fed my kids McDonalds for brunch...
in the car...
allowed my daughter to play outside (in the fenced in back yard) unsupervised, with her brother...
in her PJ's...
repeatedly changed out the movie in the DVD player so that I could attempt to catch up on my 100 plus unread emails...
And it's only 5:00!
So as I sit here in a pregnancy induced state of nausea, malaise, and debilitating fatigue (which seems to be at an all time high), I can't help but realize that
I'm breaking all of my own rules!
And while I feel like a parenting "drop out" amidst a world of chaos right now, I am struck by the "moments" that also occurred just today.
The moments, like...
~ overhearing my son tenderly say to his sister,
"Oh Sissy, Sissy, Sissy.... are you okay?"
as she fell off of the couch.
~ watching my son run off to put something away as he sung,
"sure thing mom!"
in response to my request for his help.
~ watching my daughter write all over my hand, then kiss the markings as though she had made "owies" on my hand.
~ hearing my son voluntarily say,
"Excuse me"
as he pushed his miniature shopping cart into a lady at the grocery store.
~ watching my daughter fold her hands together to join us in a prayer.
~ hearing my son say,
"of all the mommy's in the whole world, God gave me the best one!"
~ hearing my son excitedly run in the house exclaiming,
"Mommy! I discovered a new creation! A green butterfly"
~ hearing my son say to his sissy after she woke up from her nap,
"I'll get you a snack sissy! Mom, she likes (granola) bars, so I'll get her a bar!"
~ hearing my daughter's sweet, barely recognizable response to her brother's snack offering...
"Tan ooo Bubby"
So...
As I close this therapeutic post, I am reminded that "those" things that I obsess over and feel guilty over really don't matter that much anyway.
It's the little things, the "moments", the matters of the heart that count.
Even though I feel like a failure in most things related to good parenting these days, I am encouraged by hearing and seeing that some of the little things, the heart things, are sinking in!
And now that I'm refreshed, I think I'll put in another movie so I can take a quick shower and order a pizza for dinner :)
2 comments:
Wow, you actually got a shower? No fair! I'm sitting here reading your blog while Sammy, in his diaper only, watches "Dinosaur Train." Zachy is asleep in his swing, the sink is full of dishes, and the floor is in desperate need of a good sweeping! And I have no excuse of pregnancy! I have gotten to the point where I don't like things "clean" because I know in five minutes they will be a mess again. I've gotten to the point where I'm happy with "good enough", and there's always a good reason to NOT shower (like reading one more book to Sammy, or playing dinosaurs with David...or simply taking a nap!) Enjoy the "moments" you will only have for a short time while your children are little. Someday, when they are grown and moved out, we'll get back to the routine and order that we once knew.
I have been thinking about you and meaning to call and check in. Take your phone off the hook if you go down for a nap...I don't want to wake you!
Michelle
Oh Danielle! I felt worn out for you in the first half, and was cheering for you in the second half. Noah's sweet comments really got me. I was encouraged in my own parenting for having read them! You are an awesome mom. Hang in there, Lady!
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