Then Came the Tears

On August 18, 2010 Noah buttoned his uniform shirt for the first time ever.  I took him to his first day of Kindergarten and was surprised by my lack of emotion on this monumental day.  I thought I would cry, but the tears never came.

On May 25, 2011 Noah buttoned that uniform shirt for the last time.  He has worn that uniform shirt nearly everyday for the better part of a year.  To me, it represents his Kindergarten year.












A year in which he...
~ spent every morning away from me
~ learned to read
~ made new friends
~ learned to use a computer and check out library books
~ earned the respect and admiration of his teachers
~ learned to add and subtract
~ received "notes" in his backpack from his classmates
~ began coloring inside the lines
~ attended Mass twice a week
~ learned to tie his shoes
~ exchanged Silly Bandz with his classmates
~ experienced hurt feelings
~ was exposed to real world problems
~ made perfect marks on his report cards


All of these milestones came rushing to mind when I went to pick him up from school on Wednesday, May 25th.  I saw him running across the parking lot towards me, wearing his uniform shirt and a big smile on his face, and it was then that the tears came.


It was the last time I would see that scene.  That uniform shirt.  That backpack bouncing up and down as he happily ran to see me right before lunchtime.

As we got inside the van and he proudly showed me all of the contents of his backpack (name tag, journal, handwriting book, crayon box, and other miscellaneous things he had worked on and used throughout the school year), the tears came even more forcefully.

 The emotion that I thought was missing on his first day of Kindergarten was overflowing on the last day.


I'm not really sure why, but I think it was the realization that from this point forward, my firstborn baby will spend more time with others in a daytime period than he will with me.  In a sense, those first precious formative years have come and gone.  Other people will begin to have more and more influence on his little life.  And I believe it was that bitter realization that brought the tears.  


That afternoon, as Noah took off that uniform shirt for the last time, I symbolically watched him say good bye to his Kindergarten year and all that it represented.  


I was surprised to find that the tears came not at the beginning of his Kindergarten journey, but at its end.  


Noah loved Kindergarten.  He loved his teacher.  He enjoyed his classmates.  He learned a lot.  He grew up a lot.  It was a good year.  A good journey.


And next year, he will put on a new uniform shirt and walk into first grade to start a new  journey that is sure to be filled many new and exciting milestones.


And somehow as I anticipate the many beginnings and ends of school years that will follow, I have a feeling that it will often be the end of the journeys, not the beginnings, that will bring the tears.